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	<title>Dr. Houston&#039;s Corner &#187; Dosing and Recommendations</title>
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		<title>Tips for matching enzymes and foods</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/tips-for-matching-enzymes-and-foods/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/tips-for-matching-enzymes-and-foods/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:32:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drhouston</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[For New Users]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AFP-Peptizyde]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break down]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[carbs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dairy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[digest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[digestion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[No-Fenol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[protein]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TriEnza]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Zyme Prime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=256</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some enzyme-food pairings are obvious: lactase with lactose (dairy) and cellulase for cellulose (fibrous foods). But most enzyme names are somewhat ambiguous as to which foods they affect. So I have listed some enzyme-food pairings along with an explanation for the not-so-obvious groupings. Let&#8217;s talk about - steaks - vegetables - fruits - dairy Steaks [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Some enzyme-food pairings are obvious: lactase with lactose (dairy) and cellulase for cellulose (fibrous foods). But most enzyme names are somewhat ambiguous as to which foods they affect. So I have listed some enzyme-food pairings along with an explanation for the not-so-obvious groupings.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s talk about</p>
<p>- steaks</p>
<p>- vegetables</p>
<p>- fruits</p>
<p>- dairy</p>
<p><strong>Steaks</strong> &#8211; Most would assume that high protease formulas would be best for a nice juicy beef steak. After all, proteases break down protein and muscle is protein, right? That is true, but what gives many problems after a steak dinner is not digesting the protein, but the fat that permeates the meat. Fats can delay the emptying of the stomach, which in turn can cause problems such as heartburn and reflux.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t usually recommend taking a large amount of protease with steak dinners, especially for the last meal of the day. When proteases break down proteins, the result is a thinned liquid mixture in the stomach. Combine that with lying in bed and fat-delayed stomach emptying and you have a recipe for a night of tossing and turning. <strong>I recommend using a lipase and lower protease enzyme product such as <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-uA2Yje0ArhWOL5HVtLMHDFr-cTtD7uho" target="_blank">Zyme Prime</a> or <a href="http://www.houston-enzymes.com/store/product.php?p=10&amp;c=1" target="_blank">ZyCarb</a> to break down the fats, which in turn results in normal times for stomach emptying.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Vegetables</strong> &#8211; Not all veggies are created equal or require the same set of enzymes.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong> Starchy types</strong> &#8211; These would be potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, turnips, etc. Starches can be a problem if not thoroughly broken down. Carbs and starches are excellent food sources for the bacteria and yeast in our gut and will increase their population. The best enzyme pairing is a combination of <strong>amylase and glucoamylase</strong>, which act together to convert the starch to monosaccharide sugars like glucose. These enzymes are found in<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7JTBeEBi7HgtRMbWo67ZdA" target="_blank">Zyme Prime</a>, <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7sCEMxO4Bq4B3rORgoXP8a" target="_blank">ZyCarb</a>, and <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o6U2lyDD33vVB_5SasxysiO" target="_blank">TriEnza</a>.</li>
<li><strong>Leafy veggies</strong> &#8211; Lettuce, broccoli, cabbage and such can create havoc in those with sensitive guts. The &#8220;roughage&#8221; tends to go right through them causing frequent bowel movements and loose stools. These types of foods are worked on by cellulase and xylanase enzymes, such as in <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7trjEIsU88Xd8w79ed_Xw0" target="_blank">No-Fenol</a>. The specialized structures found in leafy plants are broken down by these enzymes- resulting in smoother digestion, and less cramping and gas. As a side benefit, a good portion of the insoluble fiber is converted to soluble fiber.</li>
</ul>
<p>Broccoli and cabbage also contain raffinose and stachyose &#8211; carbohydrates that may cause gassiness.  These carbs are broken down by the <strong><a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7JTBeEBi7HgtRMbWo67ZdA" target="_blank">alpha-galactosidase</a></strong> enzyme.</p>
<p><strong>Fruits</strong> &#8211; Can be similar to veggies in that some are starchy but in addition can also be highly phenolic. By &#8220;phenolic&#8221; we mean they are high in polyphenols which are the antioxidants and nutritional compounds we need to help with oxidative stress. In some, phenolics are not transformed to their most absorbable form and if not absorbed, there is little benefit. <strong>Xylanase</strong>, in <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7trjEIsU88Xd8w79ed_Xw0" target="_blank">No-Fenol</a>, seems to help accomplish this transformation process. Combine with <strong>amylase and glucoamylase</strong>(such as with <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o7sCEMxO4Bq4B3rORgoXP8a" target="_blank">ZyCarb</a>) to get help with the starchy components.</p>
<p><strong>Dairy</strong> &#8211; We already mentioned using lactase for lactose intolerance but keep in mind that dairy protein (casein) can be a digestive problem as well. For this we would want to use a high-protease formula like <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=ixtevyn6&amp;et=1108928603111&amp;s=0&amp;e=001YjgC55vK_vSnn_qJT0Mx9cD_kv5Gs9oOiyMHHb6gaum93N3HI2PvzXy3tdqBn939x_CoUwO7qTTTMviDCPDGJp9eXPm0BKjlRHrO7PUUvO-L-CoOazZlG1jsWS-vLGJ-8ReumpWt3o5GEs5en4ChewYG2CgZ5ArR" target="_blank">AFP-Peptizyde</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Enzymes Can Handle The Heat!</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/enzymes-can-handle-the-heat/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/enzymes-can-handle-the-heat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jul 2011 18:08:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drhouston</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Questions and Answers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[temperature]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This heat wave is creating havoc with my garden and lawn, and our dog is considering leaving for Alaska! Seriously though, the heat wave shows no signs of letting up soon.  Many of our customers are worried about our enzymes being shipped in this heat.  Have no fear, these enzymes are very stable to environmental [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This heat wave is creating havoc with my garden and lawn, and our dog is considering leaving for Alaska!</p>
<p>Seriously though, the heat wave shows no signs of letting up soon.  Many of our customers are worried about our enzymes being shipped in this heat.  Have no fear, these enzymes are very stable to environmental temperatures!  In fact, many of these enzymes work better at temps of 105 &#8211; 125 degrees F.</p>
<p>I recently tested some of our enzymes that had expired in 2003.  They were sealed in the bottle and still in the cardboard box.  They had been in a corner of my unconditioned garage in Arkansas for the past 8 years.  Our summer temperatures will routinely be in the high 90s, with humidity in the 60 &#8211; 90% level.  In the summer, my garage feels like a sauna.  When we tested the enzymes I was amazed to find that the activity was still above the amount stated on the label.</p>
<p>We over-formulate our enzyme products, meaning that the amount you see listed on the label is actually less than what is actually put into the product.  In this way, we can provide long shelf life and provide a good reserve of activity to accommodate extreme conditions.</p>
<p>Please do not worry that the enzymes you received from Houston Enzymes are &#8220;deactivated&#8221; by the heat.  The bottle and box provide protection as well.  Even sitting in a mail truck or your mailbox for the weekend in Arizona will have little to no effect on the activity levels.</p>
<p>I wish I could tolerate the heat as well our enzymes!</p>
<p>Stay cool!</p>
<p>Devin Houston, PhD</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Get your Enzymes Quick Start Guide</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/enzymes-guide/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/enzymes-guide/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:53:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cindy K</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[For New Users]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=191</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After looking over our web site, are you still unsure which product to try or how to use it?   Our new Enzymes Quick Start Guide may be helpful to you.   Email me (Cindy) to request it and I&#8217;ll send you the pdf document. The guide is a quick read that discusses these basics: 1. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>After looking over our web site, are you still unsure which product to try or how to use it?   Our new Enzymes Quick Start Guide may be helpful to you.   <a title="request mini-guide to enzymes" href="mailto:cindy.kelley@houston-enzymes.com">Email me (Cindy)</a> to request it and I&#8217;ll send you the pdf document. The guide is a quick read that discusses these basics:</p>
<p>1. Enzyme products<br />
2. How to choose a product<br />
3. How long before you see improvements?<br />
4. Dosing<br />
5. Mixing with food and drink<br />
6. Safety<br />
7. Storage<br />
8. Resources<br />
9. Contact info.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll be watching for your email.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Capsule and tablet size</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/170/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/170/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Feb 2011 16:05:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cindy K</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[capsule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chewable]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[size]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=170</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;How big are the capsules?&#8221; &#8220;What do the chewable tablets look like?&#8221; Frequent questions now answered with this photo.  Pictured is an M&#38;M candy for reference (sorry, no enzymes in M&#38;Ms), a TriEnza Chewable, a TriEnza capsule and ZyCarb capsule above. All our capsule version enzymes are the same size as TriEnza (capsule size &#8220;1&#8243;), with [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;How big are the capsules?&#8221; &#8220;What do the chewable tablets look like?&#8221; <br /><a href="http://www.houston-enzymes.com/store/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-171 alignright" title="Enzyme product sizes" src="http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/IMG_0917-300x244.jpg" alt="" width="219" height="178" /></a><br />Frequent questions now answered with this photo.  Pictured is an M&amp;M candy for reference (sorry, no enzymes in M&amp;Ms), a TriEnza Chewable, a TriEnza capsule and ZyCarb capsule above.</p>
<p>All our capsule version enzymes are the same size as TriEnza (capsule size &#8220;1&#8243;), with the exception of ZyCarb, which is slightly smaller.  All our chewable products are the same size.</p>
<p>By most standards, these are considered to be small sized products.  If you are still doubting whether the size of the product will be ok for your child, we are happy to send you a sample.</p>
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		<title>Timing</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/timing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/timing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Dec 2010 22:46:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drhouston</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[capsules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[timing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=158</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember to take enzymes near the beginning of each meal; with the first few bites is fine. Here is a Q and A on capsules and timing from our newsletter: Q:  We&#8217;ve been using your enzymes for about a year and they&#8217;ve made a huge difference for my daughters and me.  Today my eight-year-old took [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Remember to take enzymes near the beginning of each meal; with the first few bites is fine.</p>
<p>Here is a Q and A on capsules and timing from our newsletter:</p>
<p>Q:  We&#8217;ve been using your enzymes for about a year and they&#8217;ve made a huge difference for my daughters and me.  Today my eight-year-old took a No-Fenol capsule and a TriEnza capsule at 6:30 before we ate dinner. Unfortunately it turned out she was sick with a stomach bug and at 7:40 she vomited.  The enzymes came up and were still intact.  I was surprised because I always assumed the capsules were dissolving right before we ate and the enzymes were working on the food.  Why do you think they didn&#8217;t dissolve?  Is this a problem?<br /><strong><br />A:  The capsules have been tested to dissolve in no later than 30 minutes under conditions represented by the normal stomach. When the stomach is &#8220;sick&#8221; prior to vomiting, the churning motion stops. This motion is needed to dissolve the capsule.  Since you reported the enzymes have been helpful, I would think that the capsules have been dissolving normally.  It is just that the conditions prior to vomiting are not conducive to capsule dissolution.</strong></p>
<p> </p>
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		<item>
		<title>If it doesn&#8217;t work, why do you keep doing it?</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/if-it-doesnt-work-why-do-you-keep-doing-it/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/if-it-doesnt-work-why-do-you-keep-doing-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:02:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cindy K</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Enzymes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[supplements]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=74</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A customer called for help with adjusting her enzyme dosing recently. We have talked several times in the past, and she&#8217;s one of our most enthusiastic customers. She mentioned that when she called a few months ago with questions about mixing enzymes and supplements, she had the pleasure of talking to Dr. Houston. She said, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A customer called for help with adjusting her enzyme dosing recently. We have talked several times in the past, and she&#8217;s one of our most enthusiastic customers. She mentioned that when she called a few months ago with questions about mixing enzymes and supplements, she had the pleasure of talking to Dr. Houston.</p>
<p>She said,<br />
“We talked a long time about all the things I give my daughter that don’t made a difference, unlike the enzymes. He asked me, <strong>‘Why do you parents keep doing things that don’t work?’</strong>”</p>
<p>She appreciated this question and indeed wondered why she had continued to purchase products that didn’t help.</p>
<p>With the enzymes, however, she could see a significant improvement when her daughter took them. And when she stopped, she saw a quick deterioration.</p>
<p>I was a customer for two years before working for Houston Enzymes. My family sees results when we take the enzymes, and we see old problems return when we stop.</p>
<p><strong>Are you spending money on products that don’t work? Why?</strong></p>
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		<item>
		<title>6 Tips for Dosing Enzymes</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/6-tips-for-dosing-enzymes/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/6-tips-for-dosing-enzymes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:37:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cindy K</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=56</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Enzymes are safe and easy to try.  Here are six dosing tips to help you get started: 1.  Take enzymes with each meal.  The enzymes move out of the stomach with the food.  The next meal will require a new dose. 2.  Take enzymes near the beginning of the meal.  This gives the enzymes time [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Enzymes are safe and easy to try.  Here are six dosing tips to help you get started:</p>
<p>1.  <strong>Take enzymes with</strong> <strong>each meal</strong>.  The enzymes move out of the stomach with the food.  The next meal will require a new dose.</p>
<p>2.  <strong>Take enzymes near the</strong> <strong>beginning of the meal</strong>.  This gives the enzymes time to break down the food in the stomach.  If you forget to take your enzymes, take them when you remember as there still may be food in the stomach.</p>
<p>3.  <strong>Dose by the</strong> <strong>amount of food eaten</strong>, not age or body weight.  Larger meals may require a larger dose &#8211; and smaller meals a smaller dose.  Some experimentation may be needed to find the best dosing for your needs.</p>
<p>4.  <strong>If you are sensitive</strong> and wish to start enzymes at a low dose and increase gradually, use our <strong>dosing chart</strong> at <a href="http://www.houston-enzymes.com/pdf/Dosing%20Chart%202-25-08.pdf">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/pdf/Dosing%20Chart%202-25-08.pdf</a> .</p>
<p>5.  <strong>For grazers</strong>, either take a dose every 3-4 hours, or sip on a drink mixed with enzymes as you eat.</p>
<p>6.  <strong>For tips on mixing enzymes</strong> with food or drink and sending to school, read our article at <a href="http://www.houston-enzymes.com/learn/articles/tips-for-taking-supplements.php">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/learn/articles/tips-for-taking-supplements.php</a>.</p>
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		<title>Guest Blog by Major T. Cat</title>
		<link>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/guest-blog-by-major-t-cat/</link>
		<comments>http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/guest-blog-by-major-t-cat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:42:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>drhouston</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dosing and Recommendations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.houston-enzymes.com/blog/?p=15</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hello, my human slave (aka &#34;the-one-who-feeds-me&#34;) fell asleep at his computer thingy, thereby allowing me this opportunity to smack his mouse around a bit (why it&#8217;s called a mouse is a mystery, it doesn&#8217;t taste like one at all!) and to relate the latest episode of indignities placed on me by these fur-less human morons. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hello, my human slave (aka &quot;the-one-who-feeds-me&quot;) fell asleep at his computer thingy, thereby allowing me this opportunity to smack his mouse around a bit (why it&#8217;s called a mouse is a mystery, it doesn&#8217;t taste like one at all!) and to relate the latest episode of indignities placed on me by these fur-less human morons.</p>
<p>My slave keeps a lot of white bottles around.  I see them when I jump up on their eating place (while they are not here, of course) and like to knock them onto the floor, just to see the stupid dogs chase them around.</p>
<p>The chief slave talks about &quot;enzymes&quot; a lot, I deduced that they are what he takes with his meals, why he does, I have no idea.  I do know that when I go outside to snack on lizards and bugs, he does not appreciate me regurging my meal into his house shoes.  Oh, the yelling and chasing that ensues, such great fun!  When he catches me though, my fiendish slave slathers an oily substance onto my handsome paws, forcing me to cleanse them with my lovely pink tongue.  It tastes like chicken, so not too bad.  In the past, this has done nothing but annoy me, however, lately I&#8217;ve noticed something different.  First though, a little background.</p>
<p>I, being a superior species of cat, spend a great deal of time grooming my lovely hairy self.  This causes a lot of hair to be swallowed, which does not bother me, but for some reason really irritates my slaves.  I guess it is because I want to show them my collection of hair balls, which I usually dispense on the family room carpet and they ungraciously pick up and throw in the trash!  I overheard the chief slave discussing a &quot;remedy&quot; for the situation, and he subsequently opened one of the bottles marked &quot;Peptizyde&quot;.  A little pill rolled out and I saw him open it and put the powder into the oily stuff.  Sensing that I was once again going to be put through the trauma of having nasty material placed onto my beautiful being, I ran for my hiding place.  The other slave, however, caught me and despite my protests, allowed the chief slave to put the altered coating on me.  After rewarding the insubordinate human with a swift swipe of my deadly claws, I retired to my hiding place and began the tedious task of removing said material.  Afterwards, I wanted to show my &quot;appreciation&quot; to my despotic slaves by yacking a slimy hairball onto their sleeping place, but try as I may, nothing came forth.  I also noticed the powdery substance was in my food bowl, but I&#8217;m powerless to resist the eating of food, whatever else may be on it.  I actually liked the taste, however.</p>
<p>Strangely, I have not been able to produce my fabulous hairballs since.  I heard my slave crowing to some other pink-fleshed creatures that he had &quot;fixed&quot; my &quot;problem&quot; by adding enzymes to my food.  He said it would break down the hair in my stomach.  Shocking!  Another demonstration of the humans lack of artistic comprehension!</p>
<p>Well, I tire of this conversation and it is well past my fifth nap of the day.</p>
<p>Til next I grab the mouse, adieu!</p>
<p>Major T. Cat, Esq.</p>
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